I was talking to my good friend friend Lauren on Skype. I am so thankful for such a good friend. She asking me how I was doing, and I did not realize how many feelings were building up in my heart. The question was ask and the answer flowed...
"How are you?"
Slightly overwhelmed with wanting to develop the right motive for missions in my heart. The more I read the more I realize that really I just need to fall in love with Jesus. Then my heart will want to sing praises to him and bring him all glory that he deserves. Then I will genuinely want to see others come to Christ. But I get anxious and scared cause I don't want a pseudo love for God and I don't want just logically reasoning. I want strong emotion and passion for God's Glorification.
Last night I was asking myself if I love Jesus, just his name and who he is alone. I feel like I love the things he has done for me, his death, and the freedom, grace and redemption it brings to me, because it is those things that I am so familiar with, but I wonder if I am not in love with him because I am not familiar with him as a friend and companion?
God has so many deep things to work out in my heart. Which is another thing I have been asking lately... How long? how long does it take for him to work on my heart and move it, no, more then anything, to REFOCUS it. To magnify him and his greatness, and overwhelm me with his awesomeness and his great desire for all to worship him. How long? If I start to feel my heart welling up with love and joy and excitement towards him, can I count it as real. Or do I need these feelings to exist for a certain amount of time, so that they are not considered just a wave of a feeling, that may not stick around?
I know my God is jealous for himself and his name to be worship, hallowed, and honored. Piper says in Let the Nations Be Glad... "God's first and great requirement of all men everywhere is that they repent from seeking their joy in other things and begin to seek it only in him...For God's glory is most reflected in us when we are most delighted in him."
Psalms 105:3-4
"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."
God may I seek you continually. And trust that you are, and always will be, at work in my heart. For I know that I can be "sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (phil 1:6). Make me fall in love with you, for you are the only thing I long to serve.
"How are you?"
Slightly overwhelmed with wanting to develop the right motive for missions in my heart. The more I read the more I realize that really I just need to fall in love with Jesus. Then my heart will want to sing praises to him and bring him all glory that he deserves. Then I will genuinely want to see others come to Christ. But I get anxious and scared cause I don't want a pseudo love for God and I don't want just logically reasoning. I want strong emotion and passion for God's Glorification.
Last night I was asking myself if I love Jesus, just his name and who he is alone. I feel like I love the things he has done for me, his death, and the freedom, grace and redemption it brings to me, because it is those things that I am so familiar with, but I wonder if I am not in love with him because I am not familiar with him as a friend and companion?
God has so many deep things to work out in my heart. Which is another thing I have been asking lately... How long? how long does it take for him to work on my heart and move it, no, more then anything, to REFOCUS it. To magnify him and his greatness, and overwhelm me with his awesomeness and his great desire for all to worship him. How long? If I start to feel my heart welling up with love and joy and excitement towards him, can I count it as real. Or do I need these feelings to exist for a certain amount of time, so that they are not considered just a wave of a feeling, that may not stick around?
I know my God is jealous for himself and his name to be worship, hallowed, and honored. Piper says in Let the Nations Be Glad... "God's first and great requirement of all men everywhere is that they repent from seeking their joy in other things and begin to seek it only in him...For God's glory is most reflected in us when we are most delighted in him."
Psalms 105:3-4
"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."
God may I seek you continually. And trust that you are, and always will be, at work in my heart. For I know that I can be "sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (phil 1:6). Make me fall in love with you, for you are the only thing I long to serve.
love you liv. keep praying and processing! thanks for encouraging me to do the same.
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